Naked & Not Ashamed
Hard Lessons but Better Choices
Perfect Bound Softcover
Naked and Not Ashamed is about a woman who grew up on the streets of Liberty City surrounded by a life full of drugs, alcohol, violence and uncertainty would ever come out from her distasteful environment and become the woman that God has design for her to be. During Sabrina’s childhood she was molested and was led into a life full of promiscuity, broken relationships and making bad decisions for over twenty years. Raised by her mother and abused by men that were supposed to be her father, her leaders and close relatives, Sabrina did not know her self-worth or where she had come from since her father was not in her life. On this journey to discovering her identity and her true purpose she met many people from all walks of life sharing the same stories and the same pains as her, but she also discovers that in order to move ahead she must first close the gaps of her dreadful past and forgive those that abuse her while finding her way as becoming a woman and a minister. As she embarks on this journey there were many pitfalls, dark tunnels and rejection that she had to endure. She would have to also face those that once cared for her and confront her father about why he wasn’t in her life, but it is through this discovery that Sabrina also finds that God unlocks the doors of her past and gives her peace and understanding of why she went through the abuse. After overcoming many adversities in life, Sabrina goals, dreams and a vision she saw for herself years ago had begun to surface once she began to heal and accept life for what it truly is. Sabrina shares her fears, tears and intimate moments of being vulnerable, transparently and narrates her life story with foundational scriptures and hard felt poetry. She exclaims, “If you just Let go and Allow God” to lead and guide you, then you will discover that He knows the way home. Sabrina finally triumphs through her missing pieces to her puzzle when she finally realizes her GOD GIVEN POTENTIAL!
Verbal abuse is the worst kind of abuse in the world; it goes deeper than the physical part of a human being. It is like a cancer, that surface every time you are trying to do something better with your life; it makes sure that you don’t forget who you are and what category you should be in. You will spend a lifetime trying to measure up to people standards with the words that people place in you years ago. Just when you think that it’s over, it’s just begun to tear down your self-esteem, your character and your soul. Most people who are verbal abusive are the ones that have never receive love themselves. They are discourage with their own life and don’t mind tearing yours or theirs down. They want to keep you fence in so that you can’t make it pass your mistakes or your fears because after all; no one attended to their needs, no one heard their cries and no one love them, so don’t expect those that hadn’t had love given to them to give it back to you in return. My verbal abuse was like my mother’s physical abuse from men, different names but the same pain. My mother drowned her pain through drinking and drugs and I drown my pain through sex and men. My mother had three abortions and I had three abortions. I tried getting away from the projects, but the more I hated the fact that my mother lived in the projects the more I became susceptible to living in the projects just like my mother. The attitude that I had had during the time when I was uncovering my mask so that I could see who I really am and the Lord began to deal with me about my selfish pride and stubbornness. I thought that I was better than my mother because she didn’t finish high school. And, because she had lived in the projects, and was a drunk. I never look at it as her having to drown out her problems like most of us do when were unable to handle a situation that is unfamiliar or unforgettable. I didn’t think that that was good enough for me to accept her as a person and as my mother. I began to degrade her in many ways because I’ve always wanted something in life other than poverty and blaming my mother for my condition and the choices that I chose out of life were the reasons why I ended up living like her in many ways. I guess I never stop to think that my mother may not have expected to live the way she did either. I mean who thinks that they would end up in a mess up condition once born. We’ve all have had dreams and for the most part, we never could imagine how our dream will begin or how it would end; we just dreamed and hope that it all would come true. I didn’t ask for her to be my mother and why did I have to accept what she didn’t want for herself. I thought that I knew myself well enough to reinvent my life apart from those that did not showed the condition of what other people’s lifestyles that I had grown to be a part of were like. Meaning I thought that other people’s lives were more important and exciting than my own. I thought that how others lived was the way to live, but that is not true. You live the way you think. If you don’t think of yourself highly no one else will. You are your own limitation the first rule is examining you as a person. Once I started seeing how the pieces would unfold I thought that I was in a place where I could stop things from happening, but the more the pieces unfolded the deeper the issues that I begin to open were hard to get out of. I thought I knew myself well enough to prevent men from hurting me like the way I saw Mr. Black physically abuse my mother. I thought that I was bigger and better than my mother’s struggle and since I believed my own lie and my own mind at the time; my mind told me things that were comfortable to my hearing. It’s a true saying, “ that we have our own choices in life to make”, but when you deny the fact that you have a problem, then most of your problems become bigger than what you can solved, simply because you didn’t admit that you had a problem. You are more prone to follow the footsteps of your parents when you haven’t study their history, characteristics, or their relationships that they have had while living a lifestyle that would set the stage for your dysfunctional relationships with others. My mother’s sickness became my very own sickness; it was then that I begin to see her from a different perspective. I saw her like me in a world where life was full of pain and agony with people who wore masks to escape who they really were. People that have been abuse will either become abusive or choose people that would abuse them in some form or fashion. And it always seemed as if the person that you have chosen is the person you become needy too. The people who are verbal abusive or physical abusive to you, somehow they want what you have, but don’t have the guts to seek after it. They are weak people who pretend to be stronger and better than you, so that you won’t recognize your strength and see that you can do better than what you are accepting from them. Once you recognize where your strength is: regardless to how weak you feel in your emotions, you’re bound to see your opponent’s weakness and realize that they aren’t who they claim to be. They’re hiding behind all their skeletons hoping that you won’t see them for who they really are. Because if you ever get the revelation of who you really are, you’ll find out that they need you, more so than you need them. I wanted a different relationship with my children than I had with my mother, Years ago, I resented the fact that my mother wasn’t strong or direct with people as she needed to be, but today, I realized that some things in our lives aren’t in our character make-up and knowledge back then wasn’t available like the way it is now. We are in a whole different generation and time and the way children are raised these days is far from forty years ago. Some things in our past we should have stuck too, because our forefathers knew a little more than what this generation care to understand. Discipline, correction, and suffering are all good for us; because it helps us all to appreciate people and what they’re endure to get us to where we needed to be as a country and as the Body of Christ.
But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us. We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed; Always bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our body. For we which, live are always delivered unto death for JESUS sake, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our mortal flesh. II Corinthians 4:7-11. Minister Sabrina Nottage is a mother of five children. She has been anointed prophetically to usher in God’s presence through Praise & Worship. She is a leader and a teacher of God’s Word. She is a part of changing lives for women, praying for women with the Ministry of Sarah’s Daughters. She has work as a Facilitator with Hope for Miami/Pathways TOPS teen program to assist youth on how to find their voice and make their own decisions. Minister Sabrina Nottage is also a poet. She has become a Youth Director/Evangelistic Minister of Ebenezer Worship Center Homestead FL.,, and is a part of Fresh Start Mentoring Program as well as hosts Annual Youth Explosions for her young adult children at her church. Sabrina is the CEO& Founder of Shekinah’s Care Facility “Where Women Are Free To Be Themselves”, which was incorporated September 2012. She is in the process of creating now a facility for teenage and abuse young adult women who has been sexually and physically abuse and given up to the streets. Sabrina has gone through many struggles and many unwanted relationships, but through it all she has triumph with great victories. This book will inspire and encourage you on how to survive and to live only for God. Sabrina gives real inspiration and transparency so that readers whether Christians or non-Christians can understand that “If we let go and allow God”, behind the mask, the makeup and all the fame a genuine person can be seen. Uncovering the past, Confronting the present, and living totally victorious in your future can only happen by being “Naked & Not Ashamed”, to bare it all. We all have failed at one time or another, but we don’t have to remain there, we can get up from where we are and live!
Perfect Bound Softcover
Dust Jacket Hardcover