The Lost and Found Box: A Provocative Exploration about Rediscovering Happiness and the REAL You! Sometimes people will lose themselves to build or maintain a relationship and later on discover that they don't know who they really are. You used to spend time with family or friends but now that you are in a relationship, no one has a chance to see you anymore. You used to watch your favorite television sitcom on Thursday nights....but now that you are in are in a relationship, something or someone else is always more important. You use to enjoy your favorite dessert on Sundays....but can you remember the last time you had a chance to spoil your tastebuds? Whether you lost a portion of yourself in a romantic relationship or forgot what really makes you happy, The Lost and Found Box is a tool to explore who you used to be, who you are, and who you could be. This book will help you identify those “treasures” in your box to empower you to give yourself the best of you!
This book is about people losing portions of themselves during the courtship process or while they are in the midst of a romantic relationship. What I am suggesting is that sometimes people will do anything to build or maintain a relationship and consequently end up losing their values, ideas, beliefs, behaviors, and attitudes that allow them to be special and unique. So, for example, has someone ever asked you a question but you did not tell the truth about how you felt because you didn’t want to hurt that person’s feelings? At one time or another, most of us have told a white lie about our partner’s or family member’s cooking, hair style, sexual expression, driving skills, or even intellect, knowing that our sentiments were only offered because we did not want to be inconsiderate. Instead of being honest and genuine about our feelings, we only told what we thought our partners, friends, or colleagues wanted to hear. This book is about finding and rediscovering those traits in your “Lost and Found Box” that allow you to be you. Moreover, this book will give you instructions about how to develop the willingness to identify how you feel and speak honestly and openly in your romantic relationships, friendships, and family relationships. The greatest gift that one can give is oneself, and this book will give you the tools to give and receive authenticity. This book is for anyone who has ever felt invisible or unheard in a relationship. It is for anyone who has lost his or her way, and it is an invitation to be courageous enough to explore the lost and found box within you. It was written with the intent to empower individuals and empower relationships based upon the assumption that everyone has a unique quality that can be shared and received unconditionally. This book was also written to give a voice to those who have ever felt marginalized in their relationship but with the understanding that those feelings of being ridiculed or minimized occurred not because of your partner . . . but because you may have allowed your truth to become invisible along the way. This book is the product of hundreds of discussions with scholars, clinicians, and leaders in the fields of psychology, sociology, and anthropology who have offered their sentiments about the evolution and etiology of happiness. It is my hope that you use this book as a source to learn about yourself, your relationships, and how you can use your power and courage to change the way that you present yourself to others. This book is not based upon socioeconomic status, relationship status, sexual orientation/identity, race, or religion but is focused solely on individuals being able to remain strong in their convictions about themselves. Inasmuch, this book is for individuals who are trying to rediscover what they are passionate about and what experiences bring forth inspiration. This book is unique in that it runs counter to the traditional paradigm of finding someone who can make us happy. If you are willing to read further and explore your own lost and found box, you will find that people can’t make you happy. However, the right person will enable and encourage you to be who you are without reservation, and that can lead to happiness and satisfaction.
Dr. James Wadley is an associate professor and Director of the Master of Human Services program at Lincoln University. He is a licensed professional counselor in the States of Pennsylvania and New Jersey. Dr. Wadley has emerged as one of the nation’s best sexuality researchers and therapists with a focus on intimacy building in relationships, communication, and values clarification. Dr. Wadley received his Doctorate of Philosophy degree in Education from the University of Pennsylvania with a concentration in Educational Leadership and Human Sexuality Education. He has a Masters in Education degree in School Psychology from the University of Kentucky. He holds a clinical postgraduate certificate from the Council for Relationships in Philadelphia.