I am willing to bare all so that others may have the courage to come to terms with the abuse that was inflicted upon them. By not dealing with the abuse people remain victims in their own minds and can never have healthy relationships. It often delays the most important relationship of all, which is their relationship with Jesus Christ!

        There are different types of abuse and the most common are sexual, emotional, physical, and verbal. Sometimes they overlap and all types are emotionally damaging. Victims of abuse are usually left feeling fearful, rejected, unaccepted, unloved, and often suffer with insecurity and low self-esteem. I also felt inferior, insignificant, and of no value to anyone.

        Frequent encounters with abuse inevitably hardened my heart. I began to think the world owed me something for all I had been through, and I was determined to get paid back. I became angry at the world and very self-centered. As a result of not dealing with unresolved issues caused by abuse, the anger in my heart grew like a cancer, more intense with each passing day. Anger became deeply rooted in my heart, and by feeding it with resentment, bitterness, and unforgiveness, it eventually turned into rage. I acquired a victim mentality when dealing with authority and became suspicious and fearful of them all. Because of my low self-esteem, I put almost everyone in an authoritative position. People representing authority had now become my enemy, and I became rebellious to anyone in that position. 

        All of my life I was looking for love in all the wrong places, because I never knew that God loved me. I thought that God was only out to get me and Jesus only died for good people, not realizing that everyone has fallen short. So there I was, thirty-three years old, hearing for the first time that God loved me even in my sin. As I began to surrender with the help of the Holy Spirit, I started to allow God to take control of many things in my life.

        Just as a butterfly emerges from its cocoon, I too emerged from my cocoon. As a new creation I became teachable—continually seeking God’s face and being transformed day by day into the image of Christ. I have learned that only by letting Jesus reign in my heart can I return love for hate, include the excluded, and admit when I am wrong. I am in a process and have not yet arrived and will not until the day that God takes me home. But when I arrive in heaven, I will see my God face to face and my transformation will be c o m p l e t e . & n b s p ; < / S P A N >