Every woman faces little aggravations and irritations throughout the day, and sometimes there is nothing that can be done other than accept them or explode. The third possibility is to find the humor in them, but that's almost impossible to remember.

Things that Make me Nuts candidly addresses some of these common experiences with the humor we frequently overlook - as we're trying to not explode.

For instance...

Why is it so hard to find a bra that doesn't bind, pinch, or hurt? And why are they not hung conveniently inside the dressing room so that women don't have to dress and undress 30 times to go back into the store to hopefully find one that fits? Do men have the same trouble finding a comfortable pair of shorts?

Why has toilet paper in public restrooms become so thin and ribbon-like that it takes twice as much to do the same job the old paper did?

Have you ever tried to have a meaningful conversation with your husband only to discover the most meaningful thought he has to share is: “The corn crop is better this year.”

If your neighbor's tree drops half its leaves in your yard, who's responsible for picking them up?

If you open the bathroom door and find your husband powdering his unmentionables with your expensive bath powder and favorite fluffy powder puff, would you be able to use it again?

Countless everyday situations that irritate and aggravate will leave you smiling, nodding, and sometimes laughing out loud as you remember similar situations that left you just as frustrated and ready to explode.

Confessions of a Selfish Woman

When a woman marries, she expects to give and share, but the amount depends on each issue.  Sometimes you give one hundred percent and other times you might give as little as ten percent, hoping that it balances itself out around fifty-fifty.  Or at least that’s one of the myths of marriage.

I have always done my own laundry.  Now that I am married, my husband hears the clothes hamper lid close and he starts washing.  My friends say they wish they had a husband who helped so much around the house.  I think they have never experienced help around the house.  My husband never takes into consideration: has it been washed before?  Will it fade?  Could it shrink, if placed in the dryer?  No, my husband is unbiased when it comes to washing clothing.  He treats everything the same.  He doesn’t separate colors, but he’s learning.  He’s had to replace a few articles of clothing and so now he has started asking questions, but I’m still hiding the things I don’t want him to wash.

We had a problem in the kitchen too.  If I was cooking, he had to be in the kitchen. We were doing a kind of a Kitchen Dance. Every move I made he was where I needed to be.  We danced around each other until I finally said,  “We need some rules for the kitchen.  If I’m cooking, you have to stay out.”  My husband likes to cook so I thought he deserved the same consideration.  “If you’re cooking, I’ll stay out.”  It worked well for the most part.  Occasionally he will sit on the bar stool looking forlorn watching every move I made.  I started wondering if he was missing the Kitchen Dance.

Our lawn and garden rules weren’t issued with such tact.”  Stay OUT of my Flower Gardens,” had to be strictly enforced.  He was allowed to mow the grass.  I’m waiting for the day he discovers you can mow without throwing the grass on the side walk.  As long as he’s sweeping the grass off the sidewalk, I won’t tell him how to mow.  Besides, sweeping occupies more of his time, and I’m thankful for every minute that I have alone.

I’ve started wondering where you draw the line on sharing things in a marriage.  I’ll have to tell you I actually felt the heat building in my body whenever he picks up my glass of ice tea or coke to have a drink, he doesn’t ask, he just helps himself.  Then I start thinking, he buys the groceries, he doesn’t have to ask for permission to take a drink of my iced tea or whatever I’m drinking.  I still didn’t like it, so I bought myself a special insulated glass for my ice tea.  Showing it to him I said, “This is my glass.”  Translated in my mind, that means:  Keep your hands off.

It didn’t do any good.  I still feel heat boiling in the pit of my stomach when he helps himself to my drink.  I think it’s the backwash that gets me.

I got irate over the flower garden and I’m still boiling over the ice tea glass, but when I opened the bathroom door and caught him powdering his personals with my puff, I considered murder.  That powder was given to me as a birthday present.  He hadn’t bought it and he hadn’t asked to powder his personals with my puff.  My anger was indescribable.  I wanted to snatch that puff from his hands and beat him unmercifully.  Wasn’t there anything that didn’t have to be shared?  This was getting way past sharing.  It was on the edge of living in a dictatorship.

I’m a kind person for the most part, but, I need to have some things that are mine and mine alone, and that puff is one of those things.

I don’t know if I’m capable of sharing or going fifty-fifty in a marriage. I like having things that are just mine.  I hid my powder and puff.

That husband has passed away, I wonder if he used his last wife’s powder puff.

Annette Bergman is a mother of four, grandmother of seven and great-grandmother of five who splits her time between Indiana and Florida. A native of a small barrier island, she was raised in that uniquely Southern style which so often lends itself to frank – and humorous – observation. Now retired after a 30-plus year career as a REALTOR, Annette spends the bulk of her time writing, a passion she discovered while still selling homes. That passion has already led to one book, "Return to Tybee", and the publication of several humorous newspaper columns. In addition to that accomplishment, in 1991 Annette sewed the first official flag of her hometown, Tybee Island, G e orgia. Her talents also led to the creation of nine designs for the Simplicity Pattern Company, which were published in the company's book "Casual Cut-Ups". In her free time she enjoys gardening with her husband, Roy.