As I sit, staring at the pamphlet, I slowly open it up, wondering what lies in the pages ahead. Flipping through the pages, I begin to see a picture of what is considered domestic violence. I read the usual stuff on the opening page; descriptions about physical violence. I know about that from watching excerpts of the O.J. Simpson trial.
I’m tempted to close the book at this point. But, something catches my attention.
“Constant criticism, making humiliating remarks, not responding to what victim is saying, mocking, name calling, yelling, swearing, interrupting and changing the subject.”
All I have to do is remember what happened at market on Saturday and realize that Todd did most of what’s on this list but yell. Sometimes, I wish he would! At least if we were yelling at each other, there would be some form of communication!
As I read, there is more.
“Coercion: the abuser makes the victim feel guilty, pushes victim into decisions, the abuser sulks, the abuser manipulates family members, always insists on being right and makes impossible rules and punishes victim for breaking them.”
My mind flashes back to Farmer’s Market again. I remember him forcing me to help him take the 500 pound espresso cart out of the truck with no help. He knew I was tired and could barely move and forced me to help anyway. Is he punishing me for wanting to run the espresso business? It seems impossible someone could be so cruel and almost inhuman.
& n b s p ; & nbsp; I can’t stop reading.
“Harassment: the abuser follows or stalks the victim, embarrasses the victim in public, constantly checks on victim and refuses to leave when asked.”
All this time, I thought he was trying to be nicer by putting his requests in a joke fashion. What hurts the most is he does it in front of our friends. This is interesting. He thinks it’s OK to embarrass me in public, but when I correct HIM in front of anyone, then it’s not all right.
I think back to the famous quote I used to chant as a child when classmates were mean “Sticks and stone may break my bones but words will never hurt me!” How I lived by that my whole life. But is it true?