I wrote this book to give you freedom. I want you to have freedom from the grip of your crazy or painful childhood. I found freedom for myself. I have helped others find it. And now I want you to have it.
This book is my journey of identifying, healing, and moving on from the legacy of a crazy family.
It is my story of being raised in a crazy family. Then it is my story of becoming a crazy parent. And finally, it is my story of breaking the cycle.
As a mom I struggled in my relationships with my daughters; as a therapist, I have had the opportunity to see my own story reflected back to me in many of the lives of my clients. A graduate school research project launched me into finding a path out of the generational craziness that was my legacy.
I share with you the healing that I have experienced. I want you to know the healing that is possible for you and your family. I want to help you to stop family craziness for the next generation.
Were you like me? Did you promise that you would be a different kind of parent than your mom and dad? I’ll show you how those promises are actually keeping you stuck in your painful childhood. Are you feeling disappointment and frustration with yourself as well as with your own kids? I’ve been there, too. I’ll help you see how your childhood experiences are feeding your frustrations, how your parents’ childhood impacted the way they parented you and how your childhood impacts the way you parent your children.
You will recognize how the behaviors you used as a kid to keep yourself safe and sane are the same behaviors that are blocking your relationships today. Because your family environment, for whatever reason, was not able to meet your needs, you were left with a void—an injury. That injury needs to be healed.
In this book, we are going to look at our relationships with our children. But as you will see, all of our relationships have been impacted by our crazy childhoods. Most importantly, our childhood has shaped our relationship with ourselves.
You were drawn to the title of this book for a reason. You are reading this preface for a reason. Know that when the student is ready, the teacher appears. You are ready, that is why you picked up my book. Let Not Like My Mother be your teacher.