The Journey of Jeremiah Smith And other pointless stories
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The Journey of Jeremiah Smith And other pointless stories
Volume One Curses & Quests
Published:
8/21/2006
Format:
Perfect Bound Softcover
Pages:
240
Size:
5x8
ISBN:
978-1-42594-951-8
Print Type:
B/W

Once upon a time

That is how most fairy tales begin, isn’t it?

 

Welcome to The Realm of Utopia. A place where you will find an Ugly Duckling addicted to cosmetic surgery, an incompetent criminal defence lawyer by the name of Pinocchio and an intoxicated Genie of the Lamp, whose alcohol problem has unfortunate repercussions for those he grants wishes. More importantly, it is also the place where you will find Jeremiah Smith, a young man who is burdened with a most unusual curse.

 

Told the way only a socially inept dwarf on community service could half-heartedly tell a story; The Journey of Jeremiah Smith...and other Pointless Stories is unlike any pointless fairytale you have ever read before.

 

Once Upon a Time.

 

That is how most fairy tales begin, isnt it? Once Upon a Time. Well, it is my duty as the half-hearted narrator of this irregular yarn, to inform you that this is not like most of the fairy tales you have ever read before. But before we do get started on this so-called story that is desperately trying to pass off as literature, let me try to get one thing straight for you. I hate fairy tales. Fairy Tales, to me, always seem to be so full of annoying characters and questionable morals. I mean, what exactly is the whole moral behind Cinderella? Is it, if youre poor trailer trash but very pretty, you should knowingly lie about your true identity to a rich man at a high profile social event and everything will eventually work out all right in the end? It is my educated guess that the story of Cinderella was written by a woman. Why else would the crucial climax to the whole story revolve around her putting on a comfortable fitting shoe? The disdain I have for Cinderella is nothing however compared to the unadulterated contempt I hold for Hey Diddle Diddle. What in the good lords name, is that little nursery rhyme trying to teach us? Is it that we should take our dishes and spoons to highly paid therapists so that they might not feel they have to run away together? Is it not to let cows compete in the high jump, because they’ll only end up in space? Little Dogs laugh! What on earth are you talking about? Little Dogs bark, you stupid idiot!

             If, after that little tirade, youre expecting there to be more significant morals in this particular story, then please, think again. As I said, this isnt your usual fairy tale.

            You may be asking yourselves, if I hate fairy tales so much, then why am I narrating one? Is it, because I love children so much, that I want to bring some well-deserved happiness into their adorable little lives? If thats what youre thinking, then you’re gravely mistaken, as I hate children too. I probably hate children just as much as I hate fairy tales. In fact, if there werent any children in the world, then there probably wouldnt be any fairy tales either, so I guess I hate children even more.

            The truth is I’m narrating this story against my own free will as part of my community service, set upon me by the Grand Judge of The Realm of Utopia. You will find out why this unfair sentence was passed upon me some other time in this series of superficial stories. I dont want to get too far ahead of myself however, as I always say the best point to tell a tale is at the beginning, so that is where I am going to take you. Back to the very beginning.

 

Steve McElhenny was born at a very young age in Bridgend, South Wales. Despite having a mostly happy childhood Steve could never decide what career path to follow. Eventually, Steve decided to develop his creative writing skills at the University of Glamorgan. As well as studying Creatve Writing Steve has also studied Writing for Children, Script Writing for Theatre and Film as well as various aspects of the media. The Journey of Jeremiah Smith...and other Pointless Stories is Steven's finest debut novel to date and is an anarchic and laugh out loud post-modern fairy tale where the reader will truly have a sense of never knowing what to expect next. 

 
 


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