Random puns, bon mots and malapropisms together with limericks and poems intended to make the reader react and laugh.

A science fiction, comedy, and romance, based on some true events and not so true facts.

Monty has a goal to travel to the moon. He meets Olivia, a girl, and falls in love with her at first glance, causing him to change all of his plans. Now, Monty's plan is to marry Olivia, and take her on a Honeymoon on the Moon.

When Olivia’s family finds out Monty is a man who drives around a truck and trailer for living, looking for scrap metal to pick up, they are against the marriage.

He has to meet and survive her brutal family, make her his bride, and convince her to board the rocket, if he wants to make it to the moon in six days, landing on Saturday, August 21^st, at 2:00 PM.

A science fiction, comedy, and romance, based on some true events and not so true facts.

Monty has a goal to travel to the moon. He meets Olivia, a girl, and falls in love with her at first glance, causing him to change all of his plans. Now, Monty's plan is to marry Olivia, and take her on a Honeymoon on the Moon.

When Olivia’s family finds out Monty is a man who drives around a truck and trailer for living, looking for scrap metal to pick up, they are against the marriage.

He has to meet and survive her brutal family, make her his bride, and convince her to board the rocket, if he wants to make it to the moon in six days, landing on Saturday, August 21^st, at 2:00 PM.

A science fiction, comedy, and romance, based on some true events and not so true facts.

Monty has a goal to travel to the moon. He meets Olivia, a girl, and falls in love with her at first glance, causing him to change all of his plans. Now, Monty's plan is to marry Olivia, and take her on a Honeymoon on the Moon.

When Olivia’s family finds out Monty is a man who drives around a truck and trailer for living, looking for scrap metal to pick up, they are against the marriage.

He has to meet and survive her brutal family, make her his bride, and convince her to board the rocket, if he wants to make it to the moon in six days, landing on Saturday, August 21^st, at 2:00 PM.

Do you need some help getting out of those tedious chores? Do you desire more rest and relaxation?

 

The Official Procrastinator’s Handbook can help!

 

Over 80 comical excuses to help put off the inevitable!

 

Perfect for DADS, HUSBANDS, KIDS, MOMS, WIVES and all folk alike..........

An Islamo-facist terrorist with shifty eyes who ends up being nothing more than a red herring. A CNN anchorwoman who is too attractive to have gotten her job based solely on her questionable credentials. A wizened and respected CNN anchorman whose famous beard could be its own situation room topic. A nuclear physicist with precognitive abilities and fondness for being killed by buses in the first act. A black man/rap mogul who goes against type and actually lives to the end of the movie. A flatfooted rookie cop who kills a lot of people before all is said and done. A liberal congressman who never met a regulation he didn't like. An aging movie star desperate for attention. Two British Lords ripped from their own time and get a lesson in modern racial etiquette and fighting techniques. A teenage girl on a journey of self-discovery and other-discovery. Two sarcastic Gen Xers who die and nobody cares that they die. A spaced-out feminist folk singer with hairy armpits and terribly broad definitions of rape. A nameless couple who fights all the time and use their kids as emotional weapons against each other. Two Mafia musclemen who try their hardest to not bolster stereotypes about their culture.
What do these people have in common? In the real world; absolutely nothing. In my fantasy world I've thought up so I can escape the harsh and overbearing realities of life? Everything. They come together (except for the fighting couple; they're just filler material and give me some space to backhandedly complain about the bad parents of the world I see) and stop a diabolical villain from blowing up New York City.

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Splat! is a humorous story about 65 fourth graders from Eli Terry School in South Windsor, Connecticut as they enjoy a special day together. While focused on learning about life in 1966, the kids dig up a time capsule on the school grounds and discuss the contents. What follows is a fun-filled day where the kids combine learning with all sorts of enjoyable activities, such as field day, a barbecue lunch, decorating a cake, a game of jeopardy, and a zany egg toss. Chock full of humor designed to make any fourth grader laugh, this book easily combines fun with learning in an effort to encourage reading among those boys and girls between the ages of 8-12.

Adventures of Farmer Jack is a series of humorous short stories about the character, Farmer Jack, his wife, Irmatrude, and the many animals that live on the farm. The animals run loose there, and each has a funny name. The book describes, in a comical way, the interaction of Farmer Jack with his animals, dysfunctional relatives, and tradespeople who come to the old farm. Various types of animals periodically wander over from neighboring farms, and Farmer Jack always investigates the source of these animals and meets the resident farmers at the other farms. Each farmer has a funny name and presents his prize animal to Farmer Jack. There are many patterns that are developed throughout the book adding to the humor and adventure with the unusual characters and strange animals. Irmatrude is obsessed with baking fragrant vegetable casseroles. Auntie Dulringer is infatuated with the cuckoo clock, Auntie Bellegirdler usually reclines in Farmer Jack’s big easy chair in a dull stupor; and Grandma L. is overly concerned with her foot quirks. The house animals are peculiar too with Rooter and Squareroot, the dogs, going on sniffing binges, Tulip, the tiny lady pig, rooting in strange places, and the cats, birds, and mice that live with Farmer Jack. Even the farm machinery, trucks, and cars are brought into the picture with their funny names, and, along with Flybert and Fleamore, the handymen, everything comes to light in a humorous way. Adventures of Farmer Jack is a delightful presentation of life on an eccentric old farm.

Louise Lefler Fry

Adventures of Farmer Jack is a series of humorous short stories about the character, Farmer Jack, his wife, Irmatrude, and the many animals that live on the farm. The animals run loose there, and each has a funny name. The book describes, in a comical way, the interaction of Farmer Jack with his animals, dysfunctional relatives, and tradespeople who come to the old farm. Various types of animals periodically wander over from neighboring farms, and Farmer Jack always investigates the source of these animals and meets the resident farmers at the other farms. Each farmer has a funny name and presents his prize animal to Farmer Jack. There are many patterns that are developed throughout the book adding to the humor and adventure with the unusual characters and strange animals. Irmatrude is obsessed with baking fragrant vegetable casseroles. Auntie Dulringer is infatuated with the cuckoo clock, Auntie Bellegirdler usually reclines in Farmer Jack’s big easy chair in a dull stupor; and Grandma L. is overly concerned with her foot quirks. The house animals are peculiar too with Rooter and Squareroot, the dogs, going on sniffing binges, Tulip, the tiny lady pig, rooting in strange places, and the cats, birds, and mice that live with Farmer Jack. Even the farm machinery, trucks, and cars are brought into the picture with their funny names, and, along with Flybert and Fleamore, the handymen, everything comes to light in a humorous way. Adventures of Farmer Jack is a delightful presentation of life on an eccentric old farm.

Louise Lefler Fry

FLIGHT PREPARATIONS "Welcome...And ALL Aboard the Flight to Nowhere" _... (FLIGHT RULES) ..._ *Mind yur' Heads,... *And Yur' A$$...! *NO PUKING... *NO THROWING UP... ...And definitely * NO PISSING!... On yourself or the #ucking Flight Attendant! n' Don't mix pill's and Liquor onboard, if you do, Don't swollow the blue water Drowning in the toilet on the ways down!... Our Flight insurants don't cover idiots with their #UCKIN' HEADS In the !! TOILETS !!! *If you have any complaints, you can: *Contact our complaint department at: { * 1-800- WHO GIVES A $HIT!? * } "..This is Yur' Captain slurring, over n' out... ...So please enjoy the Terrorfying remainder, ......OF THE FLIGHT.... .........THANK YOU........

FLIGHT PREPARATIONS "Welcome...And ALL Aboard the Flight to Nowhere" _... (FLIGHT RULES) ..._ *Mind yur' Heads,... *And Yur' A$$...! *NO PUKING... *NO THROWING UP... ...And definitely * NO PISSING!... On yourself or the #ucking Flight Attendant! n' Don't mix pill's and Liquor onboard, if you do, Don't swollow the blue water Drowning in the toilet on the ways down!... Our Flight insurants don't cover idiots with their #UCKIN' HEADS In the !! TOILETS !!! *If you have any complaints, you can: *Contact our complaint department at: { * 1-800- WHO GIVES A $HIT!? * } "..This is Yur' Captain slurring, over n' out... ...So please enjoy the Terrorfying remainder, ......OF THE FLIGHT.... .........THANK YOU........

FLIGHT PREPARATIONS "Welcome...And ALL Aboard the Flight to Nowhere" _... (FLIGHT RULES) ..._ *Mind yur' Heads,... *And Yur' A$$...! *NO PUKING... *NO THROWING UP... ...And definitely * NO PISSING!... On yourself or the #ucking Flight Attendant! n' Don't mix pill's and Liquor onboard, if you do, Don't swollow the blue water Drowning in the toilet on the ways down!... Our Flight insurants don't cover idiots with their #UCKIN' HEADS In the !! TOILETS !!! *If you have any complaints, you can: *Contact our complaint department at: { * 1-800- WHO GIVES A $HIT!? * } "..This is Yur' Captain slurring, over n' out... ...So please enjoy the Terrorfying remainder, ......OF THE FLIGHT.... .........THANK YOU........

Mix the brains of Neil Shulman and Carl Hiaasen and subtract 27 years, and you’ve got the book Doc Hollywood, originally titled What? Dead … Again?, which was turned into the 1991 movie adaptation starring Michael J. Fox. Hiaasen and Shulman traipsed around rural Georgia in the late ’70s collecting the funny accounts and unique experiences of real life practicing ‘Doc Hollywoods.’ They created a book about the misadventures of Dr. Otis Stone, a high-flying city doctor gets hoodwinked into practicing medicine ‘below the gnat line,’ U.S.A.

The zany characters of Grady, Ala., and their interface with the spunky ‘fish out of water’ doc, tickled the fancy of Michael J. Fox, and thus was born the movie “Doc Hollywood.” Some even say that the popular TV series “Northern Exposure” was inspired by this novel. More than 30 years later, the Shulman-Hiaasen “Doc Hollywood” partnership has sparked many current plots, including the 2006 Pixar film Cars. The tales seems to follow Doc Hollywood's plot, as reported by medias across the nation. Doc Hollywood is a story as moving as it is hilarious. But if one has seen the movie, according to Shulman, don’t be fooled. There’s more to plot than the Hollywood adaptation. “This book is more a seed than a copy of the movie,” states Shulman. Many who have enjoyed the movie have been even more captivated by the book. Critically-acclaimed and unforgettable, it deserves a special place on every bookshelf and within every heart that has longed for the simple life. “This book is a hundred times better than the movie they made out of it. A great book.” .